Quads are a small gathering of 4-5 same-gendered people, committed to meeting for at least one year, where you push further into the depths of your spiritual formation. Eugene Peterson said that discipleship is “long obedience in the same direction.” The goal of any discipleship endeavor should be to become more formed into the image of Christ. In order to seek this formation in every aspect of life, we are encouraging you to meet in a Quad regularly over a long-term commitment. We intentionally use the word “commitment” because it will take a commitment from every person in the group in order to be open with each other about your spiritual lives.
Framework of Disciplines
Formation doesn’t happen shallowly or in a hurry. We expect that you will celebrate together and confess your sins to one another. You will hold each other accountable while praying with each other. But to do this, it will take discipline. To help facilitate these meetings, we encourage you to structure your time around five communal disciplines. The way each Quad structures around these disciplines must fit with your rhythms of life. You will need to be intentional about getting to each discipline by setting up time constraints that work for your Quad. Each discipline will have some framework questions that allow for open-ended discussion on how the Holy Spirit is working in each of your lives. You don’t need to answer each question each time you meet, but everyone should speak to each discipline. You can use the questions as a conversation starters.
- What are you grateful for today?
- Where have you noticed God’s presence in your life since we last met?
- What have you been prioritizing over your love for God?
- Where are you having difficulty trusting God?
- Where do you know that you are intentionally sinning?
- What has God been speaking to you about since we last met?
- What have you read in scripture that caused resonance or resistance in your spirit?
- If you have chosen a book to go through, what quotes or concepts stood out to you and why?
- In what area of your life do you feel disconnected from God?
- What is causing you anxiety, fear, or worry?
- What are you praying about in your life?
- Choose one other person from your Quad to follow up with during the week about their prayer requests and confession points.
- How can we support you in your sin struggle or your spiritual disciplines?
- Practice submitting over leading. No one is the leader of your Quad. You all are committed to submitting yourselves to the Holy Spirit together.
- Practice listening over speaking. Generally speaking, it is better to listen to someone share rather than offer your advice.
- Practice invitation over pushing. Invite each other to speak through vulnerably sharing about your own life.
- Practice brevity over rambling. Try to be brief when it is your turn to talk. Everyone should get a chance to speak.
- Practice curiosity over judgment. Rather than jumping to judgment about someone’s response, genuinely ask questions that further expand what they are saying.
- Practice commitment over wavering. The only way you will see lasting change in your life is through committing to the journey.
- Practice consistency over irregularity. As Hebrews 10:25 says, “Do not neglect to meet together as is the habit of some. But encourage one another.”
- The people who make up your Quad should come from your existing relationship networks. We do not place you in a Quad. If you need to find people to join you, then consider getting involved in other areas of community first, like serving on a team or joining a small group.
- In order to practice consistency, we suggest that you meet with your Quad weekly, or every other week at a minimum.
- In order to practice commitment, we suggest that you commit to meeting with your Quad for a year to establish healthy formational patterns.
- Establish a hard end-time for your meetings, unless you have agreed upon an intentional break from the pattern, in order to honor everyone’s busy schedules.